Sorry....

I'm sorry I'm not a slag.
Yes I said it.
I'm sorry I don't wear the clothes you think I should.
I'm sorry you were expecting someone different.
I'm sorry I never text you I'm useless OK!
I'm sorry you think I'm a bitch but are you surprised.
I'm sorry that my life offends you so.
I'm sorry that my refusal to eat meat impacts your digestive system as well.
I'm sorry for not fitting into your perfect little box of a world.
But most of all,
I'm sorry for you.

New Year's Resolutions

will try and be organised.

I will NOT make it to the gym.

I will think up all these crazy schemes and I'll do about two of them.

I'll get drunk.

I'll cry, about a big thing, about a little thing, and about a medium sized thing.

I will smile more than a thousand times.

I'll think about the people who aren't around any more and think, 'there's a damn good reason for that'

I'll miss those people.

I will never back down from an argument.

I will have at least one day every month when I look absolutely god awful, but heaven help you if you point it out.

I'll go to india.

I'll forget the birthday of someone important.

I'll make friends and break friends.

I'll say I'll change my image and buy one outfit.

I'll amaze myself.

I will fail at being organised.

I'll spend more money than I should.

I will not stop being my crazy, unorganised messy self.

I will be proud of this.



New Year, New you.



Bollocks.